Vengeance
"Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord."1
In church one Sunday the visiting speaker told how a U.S. soldier (whom I will call Ed) in Afghanistan received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. Understandably, he was deeply hurt. To make matters worse, she asked him to return her photo as she needed it for her local newspaper to announce her engagement to another man.
The men in Ed's unit all felt for Ed and were mad at his former girlfriend, so they all gave Ed a copy of a photo of their girl friends. Ed put these in a box and mailed them to his former girlfriend with a note which said, "I'm sending you a photo of all my girlfriends and can't remember which photo is yours. So will you please take out yours and return all the rest to me."
Aha! "Good for Ed," I want to say! Vengeance can taste so sweet—at least for the immediate present. I know at times when I have felt that someone has been critical of me and their cutting remarks have cut deeply, I want to strike back and let them have a verbal blast packaged in humor/sarcasm, and have to pray for grace so I won't do what I want to do … or at least say what I'd really like to say!
However, as the Bible reminds us, vengeance is best left to the Lord and judgment best left to the Holy Spirit. For some of us, including me, we will need to be "growing in grace" for the rest of our lives.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to keep growing in grace so that I will not lash out and hurt others when they have hurt me. Help me to turn the other cheek, and always be as Christ to those I find unlovable. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Romans 12:19 (NIV).
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
True Friendship
True Friendship
"A friend loves at all times"1.
I remember years ago how a friend said that some people are "cursed with the affliction to give advice." I had no idea what he meant. Sure sounded strange to me. Now I understand. He was talking about unsolicited advice; that is, giving advice where it is neither asked for nor wanted.
According to Webster's Dictionary, people "offering unwanted advice or services" are officious. I think that word is close to "obnoxious." Such advice can be thinly veiled criticism.
I'm not talking about going to a lawyer, an accountant, a car mechanic, or whatever when we need professional advice. What I'm talking about is when we share our struggles and feelings with a friend and they have a compulsion to tell us what we should or shouldn't do, or how we should or shouldn't feel. They are in fact putting us down in that they are assuming that they know our needs and understand our situation better than we do ourselves.
Even when some people want advice about a personal issue, it is more effective not to give it to them, but help them come up with their own options and solutions.
A good counselor doesn't tell people what they should or shouldn't do. He helps them see for themselves what they need to do.
What I want from a friend when I am feeling in the pits, is someone to listen to me with their heart, to give me their presence, and accept me as I am, and let me know that they care—not try to fix me—or someone who will weep with me when I weep. Such friends may be rare but they are worth their weight in gold.
In his book, Out of Solitude, Henri Nouwen wrote, "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a true friend and to be there for those who are hurting, not to give them advice or try to fix them or resolve their problems, but to listen to them, accept their feelings, give them my presence, love them, and be as Jesus to them. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Proverbs 17:17 (NIV).
"A friend loves at all times"1.
I remember years ago how a friend said that some people are "cursed with the affliction to give advice." I had no idea what he meant. Sure sounded strange to me. Now I understand. He was talking about unsolicited advice; that is, giving advice where it is neither asked for nor wanted.
According to Webster's Dictionary, people "offering unwanted advice or services" are officious. I think that word is close to "obnoxious." Such advice can be thinly veiled criticism.
I'm not talking about going to a lawyer, an accountant, a car mechanic, or whatever when we need professional advice. What I'm talking about is when we share our struggles and feelings with a friend and they have a compulsion to tell us what we should or shouldn't do, or how we should or shouldn't feel. They are in fact putting us down in that they are assuming that they know our needs and understand our situation better than we do ourselves.
Even when some people want advice about a personal issue, it is more effective not to give it to them, but help them come up with their own options and solutions.
A good counselor doesn't tell people what they should or shouldn't do. He helps them see for themselves what they need to do.
What I want from a friend when I am feeling in the pits, is someone to listen to me with their heart, to give me their presence, and accept me as I am, and let me know that they care—not try to fix me—or someone who will weep with me when I weep. Such friends may be rare but they are worth their weight in gold.
In his book, Out of Solitude, Henri Nouwen wrote, "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a true friend and to be there for those who are hurting, not to give them advice or try to fix them or resolve their problems, but to listen to them, accept their feelings, give them my presence, love them, and be as Jesus to them. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Proverbs 17:17 (NIV).
The Beauty and Meaning of Life
The Beauty and Meaning of Life
"When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind."1
In speaking about the meaning and purpose of life, one insightful writer said, "It is not about writing great books, amassing great wealth, achieving great power. It is about loving and being loved. It is about savoring the beauty of moments that don't last, the sunsets, the leaves turning color, the rare moments of true human communication."
King Solomon, one of the wisest and richest men of antiquity said about his life: "I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks … reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves …. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces….In all this my wisdom stayed with me. I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun."2
When we realize that the essence of life is not in power, performance, or possessions but in loving relationships—both with our fellow man and with God—and in appreciating the beauty of his creation, and fulfilling his purpose for our lives, we will have discovered what Solomon took a lifetime to learn.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, give me the wisdom to understand that the beauty and true meaning of life is not found in power, performance or possessions, but in loving relationships the human heart yearns for. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
"When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind."1
In speaking about the meaning and purpose of life, one insightful writer said, "It is not about writing great books, amassing great wealth, achieving great power. It is about loving and being loved. It is about savoring the beauty of moments that don't last, the sunsets, the leaves turning color, the rare moments of true human communication."
King Solomon, one of the wisest and richest men of antiquity said about his life: "I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks … reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves …. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces….In all this my wisdom stayed with me. I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun."2
When we realize that the essence of life is not in power, performance, or possessions but in loving relationships—both with our fellow man and with God—and in appreciating the beauty of his creation, and fulfilling his purpose for our lives, we will have discovered what Solomon took a lifetime to learn.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, give me the wisdom to understand that the beauty and true meaning of life is not found in power, performance or possessions, but in loving relationships the human heart yearns for. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Soul-Brother/Sister
Soul-Brother/Sister
"A friend loves at all times."1
In his book, Out of Solitude, Henri Nouwen wrote, "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
These people I like to call soul-brothers or soul-sisters. These are friends with whom we can trust our very soul—warts and all. In fact, for healthy living and loving relationships, every woman (single or married) needs such a soul-sister. And every man (single or married) needs such a soul-brother.
Suggested prayer, "Dear God, please help me to be, and please give to me, such a friend. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
"A friend loves at all times."1
In his book, Out of Solitude, Henri Nouwen wrote, "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
These people I like to call soul-brothers or soul-sisters. These are friends with whom we can trust our very soul—warts and all. In fact, for healthy living and loving relationships, every woman (single or married) needs such a soul-sister. And every man (single or married) needs such a soul-brother.
Suggested prayer, "Dear God, please help me to be, and please give to me, such a friend. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Relationships
Relationships
"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his [Jesus] coming back again is drawing near."1
I'm sure you've heard the old example of how to keep a fire burning in a fireplace. It's about keeping the burning logs and coals stoked together. Coals that fall away from the body of the fire soon become cold and their fire goes out.
This is an excellent illustration of why those who claim to be believers in Jesus need to be actively involved in a good church. To keep on fire; that is, enthusiastic, regarding our faith we need fellowship and connection with fellow Christians.
Furthermore, we were created for relationships. Christianity is not only having a right relationship with God, but also with others. Healthy relationships are vital for healthy living and meaningful growth—physical, emotional, and spiritual. We may exist but cannot live meaningfully and healthily in isolation.
God himself is in relationship: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. And one of the first things Jesus did at the commencement of his earthly ministry was to choose twelve "that they might be with him."2
We need not only to "walk with Jesus" but also with each other. None of us can make it alone. We weren't meant to. Likewise we need to belong to a fellowship filled with warm and loving Christians to help keep us "on fire" for God.
Note: Be sure to read the article, "What a Good Church Can Do for You" at http://tinyurl.com/bs9jf.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to stay connected to loving and supportive Christians so I can stay enthusiastic about my Christian faith and 'on fire' for you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his [Jesus] coming back again is drawing near."1
I'm sure you've heard the old example of how to keep a fire burning in a fireplace. It's about keeping the burning logs and coals stoked together. Coals that fall away from the body of the fire soon become cold and their fire goes out.
This is an excellent illustration of why those who claim to be believers in Jesus need to be actively involved in a good church. To keep on fire; that is, enthusiastic, regarding our faith we need fellowship and connection with fellow Christians.
Furthermore, we were created for relationships. Christianity is not only having a right relationship with God, but also with others. Healthy relationships are vital for healthy living and meaningful growth—physical, emotional, and spiritual. We may exist but cannot live meaningfully and healthily in isolation.
God himself is in relationship: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. And one of the first things Jesus did at the commencement of his earthly ministry was to choose twelve "that they might be with him."2
We need not only to "walk with Jesus" but also with each other. None of us can make it alone. We weren't meant to. Likewise we need to belong to a fellowship filled with warm and loving Christians to help keep us "on fire" for God.
Note: Be sure to read the article, "What a Good Church Can Do for You" at http://tinyurl.com/bs9jf.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to stay connected to loving and supportive Christians so I can stay enthusiastic about my Christian faith and 'on fire' for you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Friendship
Friendship
"There are friends who 'pretend' to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."1
Many definitions have been given to describe friendship. Some time ago an English publication offered a prize for the best one, and, "A friend is one who understands our silence" was one of the thousands of entries. But the one that took first prize was this: "A friend—the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."
To me, a true friend is one who knows all about you and loves you still, who gives you his or her presence, who listens with his or her heart and actually hears what you are saying—who accepts you for who you are and not for what you have or haven't done. A good friend is one who doesn't judge you, try to fix you, or tell you what you should do. He or she will appreciate your friendship and tell you so, will rejoice with you in your successes and weep with you in your sorrows. And, at times, a good friend will confront you and graciously point out a fault, but no matter what, he or she will stand by you. These friends are rare and precious.
But the greatest friend of all is the One who stepped out of the ivory palaces of heaven and came to earth as a man—clothed in a garment of human flesh—to identify with us, and who died on the cross to save us from our sins, to give us a free pardon and the gift of eternal life. He is "a friend who sticks closer than a brother" and will "never, not ever, no never leave us or forsake us."2 His love is absolutely total, unconditional, and eternal. His name is Jesus.
Prayer: "Dear Jesus, thank you that you are a friend of sinners and, as such, you have accepted me as a friend of yours. Help me to show my appreciation for your dying on the cross in my place by my living for you in every way possible. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."
"There are friends who 'pretend' to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."1
Many definitions have been given to describe friendship. Some time ago an English publication offered a prize for the best one, and, "A friend is one who understands our silence" was one of the thousands of entries. But the one that took first prize was this: "A friend—the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."
To me, a true friend is one who knows all about you and loves you still, who gives you his or her presence, who listens with his or her heart and actually hears what you are saying—who accepts you for who you are and not for what you have or haven't done. A good friend is one who doesn't judge you, try to fix you, or tell you what you should do. He or she will appreciate your friendship and tell you so, will rejoice with you in your successes and weep with you in your sorrows. And, at times, a good friend will confront you and graciously point out a fault, but no matter what, he or she will stand by you. These friends are rare and precious.
But the greatest friend of all is the One who stepped out of the ivory palaces of heaven and came to earth as a man—clothed in a garment of human flesh—to identify with us, and who died on the cross to save us from our sins, to give us a free pardon and the gift of eternal life. He is "a friend who sticks closer than a brother" and will "never, not ever, no never leave us or forsake us."2 His love is absolutely total, unconditional, and eternal. His name is Jesus.
Prayer: "Dear Jesus, thank you that you are a friend of sinners and, as such, you have accepted me as a friend of yours. Help me to show my appreciation for your dying on the cross in my place by my living for you in every way possible. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."
Fathers Needed
Fathers Needed
"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."1
Ron Farmer of the University of New South Wales (Australia) Psychology Department said, "Any man seeking too strenuously for recognition in his early adult life was likely to find that neglect of his family unit during that time would lead to an alienation from his wife and children at the time he most needed their affection and understanding."
As fathers we know we are to provide for our family's physical needs. But provision goes far beyond this. We are to model Christian fatherhood and provide for our family's spiritual needs as well. Equally important is to meet emotional needs, the absence of which is a major cause of many emotional ills and marriage breakdowns.
As fathers we need to be emotionally present and connected to our wives and children. However, if we're not connected to our own emotions and inner self, we cannot be emotionally connected to or intimate with our family. Of all the people I've worked with in recovery groups over the years who are struggling emotionally and/or are divorced, a large percentage of them say that their father was never there for them emotionally when they were growing up. They felt he was distant and lived in his own private world. They never really knew him for who he really was. In God's design it's not only mothers who are needed. Fathers play a vital role in the emotional, spiritual and sexual development of their children. When fathers don't meet their children's needs, their children are programmed for problems as adults—especially in the areas of emotional wellbeing, sexual identity, and interpersonal relationships.
Furthermore, as adults, many of these "emotionally undernourished children" project their feelings towards their earthly father onto God, the Heavenly Father, and feel that he, too, is distant, cold and not there for them. When we are not emotionally present and involved with our children we can, without realizing it, drive wedges between our precious children and God.
Being present for and emotionally involved with our spouse and our children physically, emotionally, and spiritually is critical for, and a vital part of, providing for our children's needs and the future of their children.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me as a father (parent) to be available today and every day to my spouse and to my children, and to give them my presence and undivided attention, so they will know without a shadow of a doubt that I love them. In so doing may they feel my love and affirmation at the very core of their being. And may they also know and feel your love and affirmation at the core of their being. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."1
Ron Farmer of the University of New South Wales (Australia) Psychology Department said, "Any man seeking too strenuously for recognition in his early adult life was likely to find that neglect of his family unit during that time would lead to an alienation from his wife and children at the time he most needed their affection and understanding."
As fathers we know we are to provide for our family's physical needs. But provision goes far beyond this. We are to model Christian fatherhood and provide for our family's spiritual needs as well. Equally important is to meet emotional needs, the absence of which is a major cause of many emotional ills and marriage breakdowns.
As fathers we need to be emotionally present and connected to our wives and children. However, if we're not connected to our own emotions and inner self, we cannot be emotionally connected to or intimate with our family. Of all the people I've worked with in recovery groups over the years who are struggling emotionally and/or are divorced, a large percentage of them say that their father was never there for them emotionally when they were growing up. They felt he was distant and lived in his own private world. They never really knew him for who he really was. In God's design it's not only mothers who are needed. Fathers play a vital role in the emotional, spiritual and sexual development of their children. When fathers don't meet their children's needs, their children are programmed for problems as adults—especially in the areas of emotional wellbeing, sexual identity, and interpersonal relationships.
Furthermore, as adults, many of these "emotionally undernourished children" project their feelings towards their earthly father onto God, the Heavenly Father, and feel that he, too, is distant, cold and not there for them. When we are not emotionally present and involved with our children we can, without realizing it, drive wedges between our precious children and God.
Being present for and emotionally involved with our spouse and our children physically, emotionally, and spiritually is critical for, and a vital part of, providing for our children's needs and the future of their children.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me as a father (parent) to be available today and every day to my spouse and to my children, and to give them my presence and undivided attention, so they will know without a shadow of a doubt that I love them. In so doing may they feel my love and affirmation at the very core of their being. And may they also know and feel your love and affirmation at the core of their being. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Before You or Your Kids Say, “I Do.”
Before You or Your Kids Say, “I Do.”
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”1
A Daily Encounter reader writes, “My son is seeing a young woman who is trying to force him to marry right away even though they hardly know each other. Is there any way I can advise him?”
As your son is legally an adult, there isn’t much you can do unless he seeks your counsel. If he were my son and asked for my counsel and is a Christian, the following is what I would do:
1. I would encourage him to pray earnestly for God's direction and especially that God would reveal to him the truth, both about himself and about his lady friend, and their relationship. When physical attraction and/or need is strong, couples are very often blind to reality, marry before they really know each other, and alas too late discover they made a big mistake. However, when seeing the truth before marriage, at least the one earnestly seeking the truth knows what he/she needs to do.
2. I would urge him to receive the best possible pre-marriage counseling with his potential life partner as this is an excellent way to see the truth about each other and to see if they are well suited for each other or otherwise.
3. I would warn him that anyone who is pushing to get married too soon and before receiving adequate pre-marriage counseling is either very needy and over-dependent and/or hiding a character weakness—possibly a serious one—and wants to hook a partner before his/her flaws are discovered.
4. If my son is a Christian and his lady friend is not—based on God’s Word I would let him know that this is a big NO-NO. As God's word wisely advises, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”2 For a healthy and strong relationship it is very important that both are emotionally mature and spiritually in harmony with each another.
5. Above all, I would encourage my son to earnestly seek God’s guidance regarding this relationship and to make sure he and his potential spouse pray together regularly and put God first in both their personal life and relationship should they decide to, or not to, marry. If they don’t do this before marriage, it isn’t too likely they will do it afterwards.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be a fine Christian example to my children so that they, seeing my life, will want you to be first in their life and always seek your guidance and seek to live in harmony with your will. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”1
A Daily Encounter reader writes, “My son is seeing a young woman who is trying to force him to marry right away even though they hardly know each other. Is there any way I can advise him?”
As your son is legally an adult, there isn’t much you can do unless he seeks your counsel. If he were my son and asked for my counsel and is a Christian, the following is what I would do:
1. I would encourage him to pray earnestly for God's direction and especially that God would reveal to him the truth, both about himself and about his lady friend, and their relationship. When physical attraction and/or need is strong, couples are very often blind to reality, marry before they really know each other, and alas too late discover they made a big mistake. However, when seeing the truth before marriage, at least the one earnestly seeking the truth knows what he/she needs to do.
2. I would urge him to receive the best possible pre-marriage counseling with his potential life partner as this is an excellent way to see the truth about each other and to see if they are well suited for each other or otherwise.
3. I would warn him that anyone who is pushing to get married too soon and before receiving adequate pre-marriage counseling is either very needy and over-dependent and/or hiding a character weakness—possibly a serious one—and wants to hook a partner before his/her flaws are discovered.
4. If my son is a Christian and his lady friend is not—based on God’s Word I would let him know that this is a big NO-NO. As God's word wisely advises, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”2 For a healthy and strong relationship it is very important that both are emotionally mature and spiritually in harmony with each another.
5. Above all, I would encourage my son to earnestly seek God’s guidance regarding this relationship and to make sure he and his potential spouse pray together regularly and put God first in both their personal life and relationship should they decide to, or not to, marry. If they don’t do this before marriage, it isn’t too likely they will do it afterwards.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be a fine Christian example to my children so that they, seeing my life, will want you to be first in their life and always seek your guidance and seek to live in harmony with your will. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
A Father's Influence
A Father's Influence
"Fathers, do not exasperate [provoke to anger] your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4, NIV).
Many years ago a small Jewish boy asked his father, "Why must we surrender our Jewish faith and start to attend Lutheran services here in Germany?"
The father replied, "Son, we must abandon our faith so that people will accept us and support our business adventures!"
The young lad never got over his disappointment and bitterness. His faith in his father and in his religion were crushed. When the lad left Germany he went to England to study at the British Museum where he formed his philosophies for life. From those intensive investigations he wrote a book that changed the world called, The Communist Manifesto.
From that book one-third of the world fell under the spell of Marxist-Lenist ideology. The name of that little boy was Karl Marx. He influenced billions into a stream that for 70 years ruined, imprisoned and confused many lives. Today, that system of thinking is crumbling, but only after people got a good look at its tragic consequences. The influence of this father’s hypocrisy multiplied in infamy. Without godly faith, all of us are subject to distortions in our perspectives.1
As Pope John XXIII said, "It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father."
On the positive side of the coin, however, Mario Cuomo, the famous former Italian governor of New York, said, "I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example."
Jim Valvano said, "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."
Speaking personally, my father had his struggles, was misunderstood by many (including myself), but he gave me what I believe was the greatest gift any child could ever receive—he took me to a church where I learned about God and His plan of eternal salvation through Jesus Christ my Lord.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, as a father [parent] please help me to so live that my children, seeing the example I set in following your ways and modeling what a real Christian should be, will want to follow my example to follow you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
"Fathers, do not exasperate [provoke to anger] your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4, NIV).
Many years ago a small Jewish boy asked his father, "Why must we surrender our Jewish faith and start to attend Lutheran services here in Germany?"
The father replied, "Son, we must abandon our faith so that people will accept us and support our business adventures!"
The young lad never got over his disappointment and bitterness. His faith in his father and in his religion were crushed. When the lad left Germany he went to England to study at the British Museum where he formed his philosophies for life. From those intensive investigations he wrote a book that changed the world called, The Communist Manifesto.
From that book one-third of the world fell under the spell of Marxist-Lenist ideology. The name of that little boy was Karl Marx. He influenced billions into a stream that for 70 years ruined, imprisoned and confused many lives. Today, that system of thinking is crumbling, but only after people got a good look at its tragic consequences. The influence of this father’s hypocrisy multiplied in infamy. Without godly faith, all of us are subject to distortions in our perspectives.1
As Pope John XXIII said, "It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father."
On the positive side of the coin, however, Mario Cuomo, the famous former Italian governor of New York, said, "I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example."
Jim Valvano said, "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."
Speaking personally, my father had his struggles, was misunderstood by many (including myself), but he gave me what I believe was the greatest gift any child could ever receive—he took me to a church where I learned about God and His plan of eternal salvation through Jesus Christ my Lord.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, as a father [parent] please help me to so live that my children, seeing the example I set in following your ways and modeling what a real Christian should be, will want to follow my example to follow you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
A Father's Blessing
A Father's Blessing
"When Israel saw the sons of Joseph, he asked, 'Who are these?' 'They are the sons God has given me here,' Joseph said to his father. Then Israel said, 'Bring them to me so I may bless them.'"1
One of the major causes of emotional and relational conflicts among teens, adults, and even children is that of fatherless homes, absentee fathers, emotionally uninvolved fathers, and/or abusive fathers. In God's economy and plan fathers have an extremely important and significant role to play, not only providing for their children's physical needs, but also for their emotional and spiritual needs. Equally important is the God-given role of mothers, but today we are focusing on fathers.
Regardless of what women's libbers and/or gay couples try to tell us, one of the greatest needs for healthy homes and families—healthy children, teens, and healthy, mature adults—is to have (or to have had) a father who is/was not only present emotionally, but also affirming, loving, accepting, and loving and giving full support to his wife—the mother of his children—and modeling what it means to be a kind, loving and supportive father, man, and adult. Every child needs this, his/her father's blessing. The importance of this for the healthy nurturing of his children simply cannot be over-emphasized.
For a few simple tips on being a supportive father, listen to what Gary Smalley, popular author and psychologist, had to say after he asked 100 people, "What is one specific way you knew that you had received your father's blessing?"
Here are some of those answers:
1. "My father would put his arm around me at church and let me lay my head on his shoulder."
2. "When my father was facing being transferred at work, he purposely took another job so that I could finish my senior year in high school at the same school."
3. "When I wrecked my parent's car, my father's first reaction was to hug me and let me cry instead of yelling at me."
4. "When I was thirteen, my dad trusted me to use his favorite hunting rifle when I was invited to go hunting with a friend and his father."
5. "My father went with me when I had to take back an ugly dress a saleswoman had talked me into buying."
6. "My father would let me practice pitching to him for a long time when he got home from work."
7. "Even though I had never seen him cry before, my father cried during my wedding because he was going to miss my no longer being at home."2
Perhaps the greatest need of fathers is to be emotionally as well as physically present for his wife and children. At the same time, it's the multiplication of the everyday little loving, caring things over the years that help a child to feel affirmed and blessed by his/her father.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to be the kind of father (or mother) you want me to be. And please help me to be a channel of your love, and because of your love flowing through me, grant that my children will know without a shadow of a doubt that they have indeed been blessed by their father. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
"When Israel saw the sons of Joseph, he asked, 'Who are these?' 'They are the sons God has given me here,' Joseph said to his father. Then Israel said, 'Bring them to me so I may bless them.'"1
One of the major causes of emotional and relational conflicts among teens, adults, and even children is that of fatherless homes, absentee fathers, emotionally uninvolved fathers, and/or abusive fathers. In God's economy and plan fathers have an extremely important and significant role to play, not only providing for their children's physical needs, but also for their emotional and spiritual needs. Equally important is the God-given role of mothers, but today we are focusing on fathers.
Regardless of what women's libbers and/or gay couples try to tell us, one of the greatest needs for healthy homes and families—healthy children, teens, and healthy, mature adults—is to have (or to have had) a father who is/was not only present emotionally, but also affirming, loving, accepting, and loving and giving full support to his wife—the mother of his children—and modeling what it means to be a kind, loving and supportive father, man, and adult. Every child needs this, his/her father's blessing. The importance of this for the healthy nurturing of his children simply cannot be over-emphasized.
For a few simple tips on being a supportive father, listen to what Gary Smalley, popular author and psychologist, had to say after he asked 100 people, "What is one specific way you knew that you had received your father's blessing?"
Here are some of those answers:
1. "My father would put his arm around me at church and let me lay my head on his shoulder."
2. "When my father was facing being transferred at work, he purposely took another job so that I could finish my senior year in high school at the same school."
3. "When I wrecked my parent's car, my father's first reaction was to hug me and let me cry instead of yelling at me."
4. "When I was thirteen, my dad trusted me to use his favorite hunting rifle when I was invited to go hunting with a friend and his father."
5. "My father went with me when I had to take back an ugly dress a saleswoman had talked me into buying."
6. "My father would let me practice pitching to him for a long time when he got home from work."
7. "Even though I had never seen him cry before, my father cried during my wedding because he was going to miss my no longer being at home."2
Perhaps the greatest need of fathers is to be emotionally as well as physically present for his wife and children. At the same time, it's the multiplication of the everyday little loving, caring things over the years that help a child to feel affirmed and blessed by his/her father.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to be the kind of father (or mother) you want me to be. And please help me to be a channel of your love, and because of your love flowing through me, grant that my children will know without a shadow of a doubt that they have indeed been blessed by their father. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
A Dirty Way to Fight
A Dirty Way to Fight
"Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more and more in every way like Christ."1
Having worked in the area of relationships for some time, I have discovered that one of the major problems (and challenges) seems to be the inability for couples to communicate and resolve conflict effectively. In fact, according to counselors, this is one of the major reasons why relationships fail.
Relationships are based more than anything on emotions. Men may disagree with me here but I don't think our female readers will. In my experience, the number one complaint I have heard from wives over the years (on both sides of the Pacific Ocean) is a variation on the theme, "My husband doesn't share his feelings with me and doesn't listen to or understand mine."Surprise? Surprise!
True, we men know how to put a man on the moon and how to talk to him while he is there, but some of us don't know how to effectively communicate with our wife or kids while we're in the same room!
However, it is not always we men who are at fault. Again, in my experience, nearly as many men as women bemoan the fact that their spouse withdraws when her feelings are hurt.
Withdrawal is a downright dirty way to fight.
It can be a form of passive hostility, self-pity, or self-justification. It can be caused by a fear of conflict, a fear of being dominated by the other person, or any of a number of other reasons. However, when one party withdraws, there is no possible chance for resolution. It's even worse when both parties withdraw.
What we need to learn is to "fight" like a Christian!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be an effective communicator, to be honest with my feelings, never withdraw from conflict, and always speak the truth in love. Gratefully, in Jesus' name. Amen."
"Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more and more in every way like Christ."1
Having worked in the area of relationships for some time, I have discovered that one of the major problems (and challenges) seems to be the inability for couples to communicate and resolve conflict effectively. In fact, according to counselors, this is one of the major reasons why relationships fail.
Relationships are based more than anything on emotions. Men may disagree with me here but I don't think our female readers will. In my experience, the number one complaint I have heard from wives over the years (on both sides of the Pacific Ocean) is a variation on the theme, "My husband doesn't share his feelings with me and doesn't listen to or understand mine."Surprise? Surprise!
True, we men know how to put a man on the moon and how to talk to him while he is there, but some of us don't know how to effectively communicate with our wife or kids while we're in the same room!
However, it is not always we men who are at fault. Again, in my experience, nearly as many men as women bemoan the fact that their spouse withdraws when her feelings are hurt.
Withdrawal is a downright dirty way to fight.
It can be a form of passive hostility, self-pity, or self-justification. It can be caused by a fear of conflict, a fear of being dominated by the other person, or any of a number of other reasons. However, when one party withdraws, there is no possible chance for resolution. It's even worse when both parties withdraw.
What we need to learn is to "fight" like a Christian!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be an effective communicator, to be honest with my feelings, never withdraw from conflict, and always speak the truth in love. Gratefully, in Jesus' name. Amen."
Keeper of the Stars
"Keeper of the Stars"
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."1
Many ask the question, does God choose our life partner or is it up to us to make our own choice? My answer is "yes" and "no" in that God will give us wisdom and guidance if we seek it, but we are responsible for choosing the one we marry—at least this is so in Western culture.
There are a few country and western songs that I really like, one of which is by Tracy Byrd. It's "The Keeper of the Stars." Tracy (in my mind at least) is referring to God even if his theological terminology didn't quite come out of a seminary course.
In his song Tracy says:
It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew
Now I just can't believe you're in my life
Heaven's smilin' down on me
As I look at you tonight.
I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars
He sure knew what he was doin'
When he joined these two hearts
I hold everything
When I hold you in my arms
I've got all I'll ever need
Thanks to the keeper of the stars.
It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew.2
The someone Tracy is referring to, in his words, is the "Keeper of the stars."
This is how I feel towards Joy, my wife—who has indeed helped make my life Joy-full. I also feel like "heaven's smilin' down on me."
Some would argue that finding a wife or husband for them has not been a good experience. In fact, it's been the opposite. What few fail to realize, however, is that no matter what kind of person we married, there were reasons in us why we were attracted to that person in the first place. And if we will take a long hard honest look at what we contributed to the failure of our marriage, God will use this to help us grow and become a much healthier person. And that's a good thing. The fact is that only healthy happy people find healthy happy partners, and have healthy happy marriages.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you want me to become whole in every area of life so that I can enjoy and appreciate the abundant life of love, joy and peace (you promised your followers) and to find loving relationships. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Proverbs 18:22 (NIV).
2. Tracy Byrd, "Keeper of the Stars." http://tracybyrd.musiccitynetworks.com/ Copyright. Used by permission.
<:))))<><
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."1
Many ask the question, does God choose our life partner or is it up to us to make our own choice? My answer is "yes" and "no" in that God will give us wisdom and guidance if we seek it, but we are responsible for choosing the one we marry—at least this is so in Western culture.
There are a few country and western songs that I really like, one of which is by Tracy Byrd. It's "The Keeper of the Stars." Tracy (in my mind at least) is referring to God even if his theological terminology didn't quite come out of a seminary course.
In his song Tracy says:
It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew
Now I just can't believe you're in my life
Heaven's smilin' down on me
As I look at you tonight.
I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars
He sure knew what he was doin'
When he joined these two hearts
I hold everything
When I hold you in my arms
I've got all I'll ever need
Thanks to the keeper of the stars.
It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew.2
The someone Tracy is referring to, in his words, is the "Keeper of the stars."
This is how I feel towards Joy, my wife—who has indeed helped make my life Joy-full. I also feel like "heaven's smilin' down on me."
Some would argue that finding a wife or husband for them has not been a good experience. In fact, it's been the opposite. What few fail to realize, however, is that no matter what kind of person we married, there were reasons in us why we were attracted to that person in the first place. And if we will take a long hard honest look at what we contributed to the failure of our marriage, God will use this to help us grow and become a much healthier person. And that's a good thing. The fact is that only healthy happy people find healthy happy partners, and have healthy happy marriages.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you want me to become whole in every area of life so that I can enjoy and appreciate the abundant life of love, joy and peace (you promised your followers) and to find loving relationships. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Proverbs 18:22 (NIV).
2. Tracy Byrd, "Keeper of the Stars." http://tracybyrd.musiccitynetworks.com/ Copyright. Used by permission.
<:))))<><
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